The New Moon in Fixed Water on the 4th November 2021 at 21:14 GMT
The pressure had been building within her head for some time. Busyness had been relentless and so Little Spirit had ignored the ripples of nausea until a tsunami of pain overwhelmed her forcing her into retreat. Finding a darkened room, she closed both eyes tight. Lying there, the buzzing noise that had bathed and surrounded her, intensified. Worried that she had left something on, she open one eye and was shocked to discover that instead of her bedroom, she was lying within an arm’s reach of a deep lake.
Rubbing her eyes and looking again, the lake’s rippling surface reflected the purple light of the sky into a kaleidoscope of colour, glittering like sparks from angel fire. From the depths of the lake, a single spark emerged. Lingering, it seemed to hover motionlessly over the waters and then it slowly grew brighter and lighter until it engulfed Little Spirit’s entire line of sight.
Frightened by the lack of familiarity but calmed at the same time by the comfortability of this Light, she heard a voice speak to her inside her head – a voice without a mouth, without form, without sound
“Hello Little Spirit. It is good to see you again.”
Little Spirit was surprised that she replied before opening her mouth to speak, “Am I dead?”
“Oh no, Little Spirit. You are very much alive, more alive than you are in that cold world. I’ve been trying to reach you for some time, but you have tried to hide, running from yourself and what is inside you.”
“What do you mean?”
“The answers you have been seeking, the ones you most fear, can be found here – deep within this lake.”
Staring at the silvery light coming from the lake, Little Spirit could see it was nothing like she had ever seen before. It was a bright, whitish silver, and it was moving ceaselessly; the surface of it became ruffled like water beneath wind, and then, like clouds, separated and swirled smoothly. It looked like light made liquid. She wanted to touch it, to find out what it felt like, and as if sensing her intention, the surface of the silvery light began to swirl very fast. She looked into it, not knowing what to expect and was surprised to see a memory that she had long forgotten.”
“This lake stores all your memories and feelings; everything you have experienced or felt; and everything that has contributed to making you, you! Often you do not see the relevancy of those experiences and feelings until sometime after, when you can then dive deeply into the lake and examine how they have influenced your choices and reality when you are ready.”
“How do I access this lake?”
“Through here” Little Spirit sensed a presence tap her between her brow. “When you only see with your two eyes, your heart cannot truly thrive. When your heart does not thrive, you feel alone. And when you feel alone, you pull away from your own path, such is the desire for connection. But you are never alone. There are no such words as me or mine. Words of this nature were introduced as a control mechanism which serves to enforce the illusion that you are alone. The feelings stored in this lake connect you to something deeper. Within the lake you can sense the presence of everyone and everything. You can feel their life force; sense their meaning; intuit their intention; feel the purpose behind their presence in your life. The lake is your power house. It is the fuel to guide you through your life, motivating your actions and driving your soul to action.”
“Can I do anything so that I can swim in this lake more frequently?” Little Spirit thought excitedly.
“Yes, until your one eye has truly opened, you have to learn to listen. Truly listen. When your ear truly listens, it becomes an eye, able to see clearly what others cannot. If you continue to hear with your ears and not with your eye, lOve becomes enmeshed and does not reach your heart. When lOve does not reach your heart, your mind dominates and often cannot perceive the depth of meaning within the experiences that you have.”
Tentatively Little Spirit walks over to the lake and starts to wade into it. Feeling a surge of energy from the filaments of light that bind themselves to her body Little Spirit dives deeply and descends. A feeling of connection bathes her as memory after memory flashes around and through her, invoking every conceivable feeling. Seeing things from a distance, yet still immersed within those feelings, perspective starts to dawn on Little Spirit, as insight after insight ignites her soul.
Through the lucid waters, she hears the voice continue to sound through her. “Can you feel the meaning in it all? Can you see that you know far more than your mind limits you with? Do you know that you are far vaster than your physical body and that your mind is only but one part of your being? Feel that you are actually everything and anything! Sense that you created everything and everyone in your life. All of it is you – not just an extension of you. But you!”
“All you need to do to find your way back home is to remember to keep one eye open. Until we meet again. Rest easy, Little Spirit”, and with that, two eyes wide open, Little Spirit became aware of the darkness of her bedroom.
“There is a quiet light that shines in every heart. It draws no attention to itself though it is always secretly there. It is what illuminates our minds to see beauty, our desire to seek possibility and our hearts to love life. Without this subtle quickening our days would be empty and wearisome, and no horizon would ever awaken our longing,”
You cannot hide from the question – who are you?
Everywhere you go, everyone you connect with, with every action you take, it seems to slip out, pervading the space around you, prompting you to ask the unavoidable questions and to look more clearly at the path you walk and whether it feels authentic to your soul’s essence.
Challenging as it may seem to have the world around you oppose you, upsetting as it may feel to see a space open up between you and those you thought yourself close, and frustrating as it can be to realise that you may not be as free and autonomous as you thought, those ‘prompts’ should be seen as ‘prompts’ to better illuminate what has been occluded due to busyness and economic concerns.
The scale to which you have lived in sync with your true heart’s nature will ultimately determine the manner in which you perceive and respond to the currently strained relationship you feel you have with those within your world. The closer aligned you have been to the open expression of your truth, the less confrontational.
This is all about your awakening and having the reality of who you are mirrored back to you through the people and circumstances that surround you. The issue of your autonomy and independence to openly and freely express your heart’s intent also dominates your awareness, as you can feel a deep restlessness course through your veins, puppeteering your actions and reactions, as you kick violently against tutelage and the limitations of your inalienable right to freedom.
You may well have to take a stand, in a way that is controversial or sets you apart from the crowd. In fact, a direct confrontation with some authority in your life may be the splash of cold water in the face which forces you to wake up. Or, you may simply become unwilling to live within the confines of your old life.
During this New Moon, you are being invited to dive head long into your own emotional depths and heal any emotional attachments that are no longer serving a constructive part of your life’s journey, so that you can release your Light from your suffering, a suffering based on feelings of alienation, of guilt and shame, as you are being prompted to reflect on whether you have acted from a place of kindness to all who have penetrated your awareness in recent months.
Moreover those deeply private emotions that you seek to contain; those longings to be understood and to understand; that compelling impetus to truly awaken so that you can move beyond those feelings of distain for what is going on in the world; and that hunger to feel connected at all times, so the loneliness can abate are all so keen that they threaten to distract you from your true path – enlightenment.
And yet, something within knows that in order to live you have to truly feel; to allow those deeply felt emotions and the rich depth of imagery from within the Lake to emerge, without censorship or judgement. That Lake is the source of your inner power, and fearing the Dive within is only perpetuating the feelings of isolation. After all, this Lake is the portal to a spiritual reality and guidance, entrance into which will enable you to feel more emotionally and spiritually connected to all creation and understand the true meaning of forgiveness and understanding in relationships.
You cannot run
You can no longer run from yourself and the truth that lies inside as you seek answers to questions that your world may not have supported in the past, questions that you may most fear to ask, since the answers may lead you down a path that brings you away from the one you are on.
It is not that you have surrounded yourself with all the wrong faces, or that you have spent time in the wrong places, putting your faith in things that only make you cry, it is just that holding back from openly expressing yourself and the truth of who you are, has manifested these people to help you awaken to your truth.
If you look at your life from a bigger perspective you can see that you are not broken or needing to be fixed, you may have just made choices to teach you in a harder manner how to be true to yourself and through that raw time, as the tears have freely flowed from your eyes that were not focused on the one eye within, you have been brought back home.
So take my hand and walk with me towards the shore of this vast and still water. Close your eyes and open your eye and let me hold that space so you can find home within your Lake.
Thank you again for taking the time to journey with Little Spirit.
All rights reserved – Andrew Smith. Written at 21:54 BST, 30th October 2021